Spring time is a wonderful time of year, the stage of rebirth, of warmth, flowers, and a reprieve from the harsh cold of winter. Spring is also allergy season. I've never been horribly wracked by allergies and illnesses, in fact before Korea I was rather healthy. Yet, it seems that since I've come back to work (and the weather has risen above freezing during the day) I'm constantly sick!
For what seems like weeks I've been irritated, if not wracked, by some form of sickness or another. A cough this week becomes a sore throat next week. A belly ache tonight will be a headache tomorrow. It seems as if I can only go a few days feeling relatively well before something makes me want to crawl back into bed and die!
Yet, I continue to hack and cough and gurgle my way about my business. I swear I've been sick more in the past seven months than I have in the past seven years! This month has been worse than all the others combined!
So what the hell is wrong with my body? How has Korea destroyed my immune system?
Through excessive research and intrigued idling on the internet I've found out (to a relative degree) why my body hates EVERYTHING right now.
1. Stress: I've been more stressed in the past two months that I have been in years! Mainly because I've taken responsibility for teaching an additional school. Also, I'm planning all my lessons on the fly. (but Michael, didn't you have a month to plan lessons for this semester?) the answer is yes, yes I did. However, I neglected to do a great deal of planning because my schools could not tell me anything about my students. When I say anything, I mean pesky little details like: class size, student names, textbooks, course materials, course goals, school curriculum, test procedures, class schedules, afterschool activities, etc etc. ad nauseum. Needless to say, I set up the bare bones of class structure with the no-information I possessed and prayed that I would be informed of some of this data before classes began.
To be honest, I still don't know most of this information, but I'm still teaching!
The truth is that my school is really apathetic about what I do in class. For at least two reasons: one, they don't speak enough English to really know what I'm doing, thinking, or needing (even if I try to explain). Two, English is an amusement, and they really don't care about students' language fluency or growth. All in all, they have no clue what they want from their students, and even less of a clue how to get them to invest in their language education.
Not to say that my school is bad, or they have bad teachers. They just have no interest in the English program, or in finding the most effective ways of utilizing Native English Teachers. So, their apathy is apparent in their "hands off approach" to me and my classes. It's more or less the professional equivalent of "here's a penny, go play."
To be honest, that's better than being harped on and micromanaged. Yet, it is more than enough rope for a rookie teacher to hang himself.... many times over.
But why is this stressful? Because, I actually want my students to accomplish something. Because I want them to earn their grades by producing something, anything, in English. I know my school will inflate all the students' scores so they will pass (they did last year), I wish they wouldn't, but it's how things are done here. I stress, because I've come to work thinking I need to find the best way to cater to student engagement, to get as many of them thinking and producing language. I stress because I want desperately to make each of my classes tailored to their unique needs, and I fail miserably the harder I try.
That's not self criticism, it's true. I fail more often than not, so much so that I find a 50% student engagement to be a wild success most days in Middle to High School classes.
So I stress, and stress is shown to be a key factor in deteriorating one's immunity. It inspires both physical sickness and psychological depression. It's probably the leading reason why my health has been suffering for the last two months.
I hate to admit it, but the less I care about my students' success, the easier it is for me to enter class. It's easier for me to teach as little as possible and play semi-relevant English games with the few students still awake. I hate it, but it's true. The less I care, the better I feel...
2. Weather/Environment: Korea is not just subject to the usual pollen issues of springtime that most the world faces. Korea is also blessed with being downwind of the Gobi desert in China. Every spring, yellow dust off the desert catches in the air and is tossed over the Korean peninsula. The dust is linked to many illnesses and is often described as a "private hell" for foreigners possessing chronic allergies. The Korean meteorological network even monitors the dust levels and will issue warnings if the dust levels are too high. So far, the dust levels are relatively low, but its out there and it sucks!
3. Kids, kids, kids, they're adorable little illness incubators: Korea is notorious for not taking sick days, for adults as well as kids. It's not uncommon for a student sleeping in class to look up with bleary eyes saying "teacher, sick." before passing out at his desk again. Koreans expect themselves (and others) to work when sick. In fact, they will rarely stay home unless they require a doctor (more often a hospital) for their aliment. Because of this, I've come to be wary of giving my kids high-fives in class. Which is a pity because my little ones love getting high-fives (especially since they have to jump to reach my hand, it's adorable)! Yet, they don't stay home when they're sick. In fact, Koreans are also notorious for not coughing or sneezing into their hands like we do in the West. Some foreign teachers I know complain of being coughed on by students (I prefer to stand over them to avoid this most of the time). A problem to be sure, but not nearly as big of an issue as when they don't wash their hands. Many students (and some adults I've noted) don't wash their hands after using the bathroom. Needless to say I'm suspicious of handshakes now as well. Alas, they are unavoidable. Germs circulate relentlessly in the Korean education system, and with medication being eagerly available, germs here seem to be of a completely different caliber than back in the States.
So my health is a mess, currently I'm fighting off a sore throat and hoping drinking more than two liters of water a day will help. I've also been avidly investigating any and all means of restoring my health with as few drugs as possible. Lately, I've been finding green solutions for house cleaning and health very interesting (more on that as I find it).
All in all, Korea is not for the sickly, I have come to discover that I need to be much more conscious of my physical state if I hope to improve my well being while working here. I've started by taking control of my diet (and not eating my school's lunch) and hopefully I can obtain more success as the month progresses. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping the good health is not so slow as to find me!
Monday, April 15, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
Reflections on functional illiteracy
Today I paid my bills, much as I have for the past six months. I arrived at the local bank during my lunch hour, punched a few familiar buttons and fed my bills into the device. I then proceeded to push the green button on the screen and offer up my PIN to finalize the transaction that would authorize payment for my gas and electric bills. I did all this without having the slightest knowledge of what my bill read, or the various functions of the bill pay ATM at the bank. Hell, I'm not even sure which bill is gas and which one is electric! (I suspect the larger of the two is gas since I've taken the habit of running long showers) All I knew is that I owed "X" amount of won to two separate companies.
For being a highly literary person it is rather strange to be living a "functionally illiterate" lifestyle. I surround myself with reading and writing. I am constantly pecking away at novels, or indulging in online articles, or comics. At work, I'm constantly writing/rewriting lesson plans, sketching out curriculum, or occasionally taking a crack at that novel I've been neglecting. I'm a ridiculously literary individual, and yet, an illiterate lifestyle is precisely what I have.
That's right I'm 24, a college graduate, and I can't read (Korean).
Thank god I live in Korea, I can only imagine how difficult life would be without the structures they have in place that allow foreigners like me to adjust to living here. I am able to have a relatively independent life with little to no knowledge of Korean writing (speaking too now that you mention it). That is the essence of functional illiteracy, operating without a working knowledge of the local language.
As I look back, it gives me a new perspective on illiteracy. Before coming to Korea, I volunteered with a local non-profit in Indianapolis, INDY Reads. Their specialty was confronting the issue of adult illiteracy and offering tutoring and resources to overcome it. According to this organization, nearly 100,000 adults in the greater Indianapolis area were living whilst being functionally illiterate. It's hard to imagine there being so many people in a modern American city that were making their way about without being able to read, yet they do. INDY Reads partnered with the county library system to offer tutoring to these people, as well as assistance in basic education. While I was training to work at INDY Reads they were excited to announce their latest successes with tutoring centers in the county prisons.
I only worked with INDY Reads for a short while. Hence, I never fully understood the experience of my pupils. Now that I've lived the illiterate lifestyle a while, I see it a bit differently. I have come to appreciate how difficult it can be to get out of this lifestyle, particularly as a working adult. Though I have attempted to learn Korean a number of times, there are plenty of days I'm just too tired from work to focus. Then again, there are plenty of days when I'm jut too lazy, or I'm frustrated and want nothing to do with anything that is remotely Korean. In any case, language learning can be a rather exhausting task. It takes time and persistence, and when one is exhausted from working all day... it often gets scrapped for some R&R.
I know now that being illiterate requires a lot of trust. By a lot, I mean, basically my life in the hands of my peers. I have to trust in my peers to treat me fairly in regards to my finances, my working conditions, and even my home. If something goes wrong or I get a raw deal, I don't possess the power to contest it (except with charades or fisticuffs)! So, I am required to trust my coworkers, friends, and employers to help maintain the more intricate details of my finances. So far, it's worked out well. However, being functionally illiterate has bit me in the ass a great deal in regards to work. Not being able to read student names makes them next to impossible to learn! Particularly when you can only meet with them for 40 minutes a week in classes of 20 or more. This has led to a great deal of work stress when it comes to conducting class. It's hard to discipline students whilst leading a lesson if you can't call them out by name. Additionally, students catch on quickly when they know they are anonymous. It creates a barrier between me and them that some problem students attempt to exploit. By in large it's not too bad, but it can lead to some trying times when you have to continually walk over to a disruptive student to tap them on the head and remind them to shut-up or stop punching each other in class.
I don't think I'll ever get out of my current state of Korean illiteracy. As I said above, one can grow rather comfortable in it (it's amazing how effective pointing and grunting is when communicating needs). I've begun to call some of the nickel and dime expenses in my life here to be my "English Tax" the price I pay for not learning the native language. For the most part, it's never been more than a dollar or two, a minor inconvenience. Thankfully, Koreans tend to be fairly even handed with their dealings and I'm not often taken advantage of in business dealings. Yet, I can't help but wonder the hazards of such a lifestyle in less accommodating cultures, such as my own.
For being a highly literary person it is rather strange to be living a "functionally illiterate" lifestyle. I surround myself with reading and writing. I am constantly pecking away at novels, or indulging in online articles, or comics. At work, I'm constantly writing/rewriting lesson plans, sketching out curriculum, or occasionally taking a crack at that novel I've been neglecting. I'm a ridiculously literary individual, and yet, an illiterate lifestyle is precisely what I have.
That's right I'm 24, a college graduate, and I can't read (Korean).
Thank god I live in Korea, I can only imagine how difficult life would be without the structures they have in place that allow foreigners like me to adjust to living here. I am able to have a relatively independent life with little to no knowledge of Korean writing (speaking too now that you mention it). That is the essence of functional illiteracy, operating without a working knowledge of the local language.
As I look back, it gives me a new perspective on illiteracy. Before coming to Korea, I volunteered with a local non-profit in Indianapolis, INDY Reads. Their specialty was confronting the issue of adult illiteracy and offering tutoring and resources to overcome it. According to this organization, nearly 100,000 adults in the greater Indianapolis area were living whilst being functionally illiterate. It's hard to imagine there being so many people in a modern American city that were making their way about without being able to read, yet they do. INDY Reads partnered with the county library system to offer tutoring to these people, as well as assistance in basic education. While I was training to work at INDY Reads they were excited to announce their latest successes with tutoring centers in the county prisons.
I only worked with INDY Reads for a short while. Hence, I never fully understood the experience of my pupils. Now that I've lived the illiterate lifestyle a while, I see it a bit differently. I have come to appreciate how difficult it can be to get out of this lifestyle, particularly as a working adult. Though I have attempted to learn Korean a number of times, there are plenty of days I'm just too tired from work to focus. Then again, there are plenty of days when I'm jut too lazy, or I'm frustrated and want nothing to do with anything that is remotely Korean. In any case, language learning can be a rather exhausting task. It takes time and persistence, and when one is exhausted from working all day... it often gets scrapped for some R&R.
I know now that being illiterate requires a lot of trust. By a lot, I mean, basically my life in the hands of my peers. I have to trust in my peers to treat me fairly in regards to my finances, my working conditions, and even my home. If something goes wrong or I get a raw deal, I don't possess the power to contest it (except with charades or fisticuffs)! So, I am required to trust my coworkers, friends, and employers to help maintain the more intricate details of my finances. So far, it's worked out well. However, being functionally illiterate has bit me in the ass a great deal in regards to work. Not being able to read student names makes them next to impossible to learn! Particularly when you can only meet with them for 40 minutes a week in classes of 20 or more. This has led to a great deal of work stress when it comes to conducting class. It's hard to discipline students whilst leading a lesson if you can't call them out by name. Additionally, students catch on quickly when they know they are anonymous. It creates a barrier between me and them that some problem students attempt to exploit. By in large it's not too bad, but it can lead to some trying times when you have to continually walk over to a disruptive student to tap them on the head and remind them to shut-up or stop punching each other in class.
I don't think I'll ever get out of my current state of Korean illiteracy. As I said above, one can grow rather comfortable in it (it's amazing how effective pointing and grunting is when communicating needs). I've begun to call some of the nickel and dime expenses in my life here to be my "English Tax" the price I pay for not learning the native language. For the most part, it's never been more than a dollar or two, a minor inconvenience. Thankfully, Koreans tend to be fairly even handed with their dealings and I'm not often taken advantage of in business dealings. Yet, I can't help but wonder the hazards of such a lifestyle in less accommodating cultures, such as my own.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
Unsightly epiphanies... take one
I'm beginning to suspect I use stress as an excuse to be apathetic and unorganized.
I feel it on Monday's especially when I come to my middle school. I really don't want to be here, especially on Monday. It's a looooooooooooooooooooooong work day, with some of my worst, most apathetic, and dismissive students. I hate being in class with them. I hate thinking about them. I even hate planning lessons for them. Unfortunately, that is what my Mondays are almost entirely composed of.
Planning takes up the vast majority of my energy these days, much more so than actually teaching. Since I can never teach the same lesson more than twice, I really have to make close to twenty individual lessons a week, each lesson must attempt to cater to the needs of a specific class.
It's quite exhausting and stressful trying to imagine all the variables in a given class, while making a curriculum on the fly unassisted. I think that is what frustrates me the most teaching in this school, the lack of guidance, goals, help, criticism, anything! I'm lucky they even tell me when my classes are being held!
So I find my stress level has vastly increased when compared to last semester. I appreciate being given freedom to plan my own lessons, but not having been informed prior to the start of semester prevents me from preparing materials in advance. Now I feel I am perpetually catching up on plans, materials, lessons, and all manner of shit that is necessary to teach in an ESL classroom.
Thus, I find my desk is a perpetual mess. My mind even more so, always in a furious flurry to figure out what the hell I'm going to do next class (often a few hours prior). I feel this is what is fueling my desire to remain aloof from my students, to prepare the minimal amount of material, and generally not care about their learning. I've wanted to help them learn so much since I've come to this school. Yet, I find that whenever I invest myself into creating a better program, I get shot in the foot. Either I'm cut off from my classroom, deprived of my resources, or given extra students and classes without warning! I realize this is the hazard of working in Korea, I've been patient and understanding, but days like today make me feel like I'm coming loose! What's worse is that I feel that in being treated in such a flippant and offhanded way makes me realize my school doesn't give a damn about what my classes are about and if there is any student progress. It depresses me terribly to feel my work is a joke, yet they smile so wide and try to be encouraging. I cannot help but feel those smiles are false and their intentions are as insincere are their goals are nonexistent.
I realize that the best approach to this situation is the hands off Zen mentality, to let it be and flow with it. Were it just about me, I'd be perfectly comfortable with this approach. However, I'm a teacher, I have students to consider. Their needs, goals, and education aren't just abstracts to me. I am a facilitator of their learning, I feel I should be invested in their education. Yet, no one else (not even my students) seems to care.
Sadness and rage stems from this. I'd rant more, but I fear I must prepare a lesson for a couple classes of unruly high schoolers.
To give a damn or not give a damn?
That all too often is the question....
I feel it on Monday's especially when I come to my middle school. I really don't want to be here, especially on Monday. It's a looooooooooooooooooooooong work day, with some of my worst, most apathetic, and dismissive students. I hate being in class with them. I hate thinking about them. I even hate planning lessons for them. Unfortunately, that is what my Mondays are almost entirely composed of.
Planning takes up the vast majority of my energy these days, much more so than actually teaching. Since I can never teach the same lesson more than twice, I really have to make close to twenty individual lessons a week, each lesson must attempt to cater to the needs of a specific class.
It's quite exhausting and stressful trying to imagine all the variables in a given class, while making a curriculum on the fly unassisted. I think that is what frustrates me the most teaching in this school, the lack of guidance, goals, help, criticism, anything! I'm lucky they even tell me when my classes are being held!
So I find my stress level has vastly increased when compared to last semester. I appreciate being given freedom to plan my own lessons, but not having been informed prior to the start of semester prevents me from preparing materials in advance. Now I feel I am perpetually catching up on plans, materials, lessons, and all manner of shit that is necessary to teach in an ESL classroom.
Thus, I find my desk is a perpetual mess. My mind even more so, always in a furious flurry to figure out what the hell I'm going to do next class (often a few hours prior). I feel this is what is fueling my desire to remain aloof from my students, to prepare the minimal amount of material, and generally not care about their learning. I've wanted to help them learn so much since I've come to this school. Yet, I find that whenever I invest myself into creating a better program, I get shot in the foot. Either I'm cut off from my classroom, deprived of my resources, or given extra students and classes without warning! I realize this is the hazard of working in Korea, I've been patient and understanding, but days like today make me feel like I'm coming loose! What's worse is that I feel that in being treated in such a flippant and offhanded way makes me realize my school doesn't give a damn about what my classes are about and if there is any student progress. It depresses me terribly to feel my work is a joke, yet they smile so wide and try to be encouraging. I cannot help but feel those smiles are false and their intentions are as insincere are their goals are nonexistent.
I realize that the best approach to this situation is the hands off Zen mentality, to let it be and flow with it. Were it just about me, I'd be perfectly comfortable with this approach. However, I'm a teacher, I have students to consider. Their needs, goals, and education aren't just abstracts to me. I am a facilitator of their learning, I feel I should be invested in their education. Yet, no one else (not even my students) seems to care.
Sadness and rage stems from this. I'd rant more, but I fear I must prepare a lesson for a couple classes of unruly high schoolers.
To give a damn or not give a damn?
That all too often is the question....
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